why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
