Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize