I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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