ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize