Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
