Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize