his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
