I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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