do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
