Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize