I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Less talking, more tequila
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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