how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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