I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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