all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
