I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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