Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
