dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Randomize
