I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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