what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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