you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
