if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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