Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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