Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
