I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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