brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
