you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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