biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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