Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
