Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
