i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize