im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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