Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
