Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
