If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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