exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
