i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
