As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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