Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
