Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
