Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
