I will die if light touches me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
