do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
