So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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