I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
