Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
