I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
