Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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