Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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