There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
