I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
