I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
