This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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