My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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