SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
