i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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