How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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