So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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