Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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